Does the thought of having a small wedding keep popping into your head? Are you just a few weeks into planning and already stressed from the thought of a big, traditional wedding with hundreds of guests? Are you wondering if you should just throw in the towel and do things your way?

I get it. Making the decision to elope isn’t easy. Society puts a huge expectation on us to have a large wedding with everyone there. But let’s face it – big weddings just aren’t for everyone.

If you feel stuck trying to decide what’s best for you, here are 5 things to consider!

 1. Are you an introvert who likes quiet nights in? Or an extrovert who enjoys large social gatherings and wild parties?

Does the thought of being in the midst of a huge party and having to talk to tons of people sound exhausting to you? Now imagine an entire day full of people from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Stressed out yet? A small wedding might be more your speed.

2. Do you feel pressured to have a certain type of wedding that doesn’t really appeal to you?

Maybe you don’t want giant centerpieces and all the details, or maybe your family has a lot of drama and the dynamic between everyone literally could not work out on a day like that. Whatever your reason, if you just can’t see yourself having a big, to-do wedding, that’s totally fine. They’re not for everyone. I think small weddings are absolutely amazing!

3. Does the idea of being the center of attention in a huge group of people make you cringe?

Does the thought of saying the most intimate words you’ve ever spoken in front of dozens of people make you feel a little bit faint? Do you feel like you’ll have to “perform” for all of your guests the whole day? If you feel that then a small wedding or elopement where you’re free to relax and be yourself might just be for you.

4. When you imagine your wedding day, do you envision a relaxed & laid-back day where you get to spend a lot of quality time with your partner? Or do you see a day that’s filled with events and run on a strict timeline?

A meticulously detailed timeline is absolutely necessary for traditional weddings. When you’re dealing with a huge bridal party plus dozens, or hundreds, of guests… it’s almost impossible to deviate from the schedule without everything erupting in mass chaos. Traditional wedding days also require the couple to cater to their guests and spend time saying hello to everyone and taking photos with them.

For example: With a big wedding you can expect to set aside 45 minutes to 1 hour just for family photos. Then, once you finally arrive at your reception, all of the guests will want a photo with you and to chit-chat for a few minutes. While that’s very sweet – it takes a lot of time away from you just being able to enjoy your wedding day.

If you’re picturing your day as being more laid-back, intimate, and personal, then you might want to consider having a small wedding.

 5. Do you really want to plan all the details of a big wedding?

A big wedding means a big vendor list. A florist, a planner, someone to provide the tables, a caterer, bartenders and servers, the chairs, and the linens. And it doesn’t end there. You also need a hairstylist, a makeup artist, a big house or hotel suite to fit all of your bridal party. A band. Decor. A getaway car… the list goes on and on. You might feel like it’s just too much.

Planning a big wedding can take away from the experience of being engaged and turns what should be such a FUN season of your life into something hectic and stressful, so we totally get it if you want to forgo all of the planning of a big wedding and stick to having a smaller and more intimate gathering.

Bonus: Do you love to travel?

Do you dream of saying your vows somewhere epic? Maybe it’s during sunset on a Hawaiian beach or sunrise in a hot air balloon in Sedona. Getting married is a great reason to travel. It’s a chance for you to explore a new place as you begin the rest of your life together. Plus, your destination can be the first stop of your wedding + honeymoon adventure!